John Thompson Arrested for Shaving a Goat on School Property
Prank Call discusses the John Thompson Arrest
“It was just a prank, bro,” says man now facing five years in prison.
GRASSY KNOLL — Friday night’s high school football game took an unexpected turn when the beloved goat mascot of Grassy Knoll High School was discovered fully shaved during halftime. What was initially thought to be a tragic hair loss condition quickly spiraled into a criminal investigation, leading to the arrest of 34-year-old local man, John Thompson, who is now facing Class 3 felony charges for unauthorized livestock grooming on school grounds.
Witnesses say Thompson was spotted sneaking behind the bleachers with a set of cordless clippers and a duffel bag full of questionable grooming supplies. Surveillance footage later confirmed what many feared: the goat, affectionately known as Sir Baa-a-lot, was lured with a handful of Doritos and subjected to a full-body buzz cut behind the concession stand.
“This Was No Accidental Shave,” Police Say
“This was calculated. This was deliberate. And worst of all, it was patchy,” said Grassy Knoll Police Chief Donna Barkley in a press conference Saturday morning. “The suspect didn’t even fade the sides.”
Authorities believe Thompson may have acted out of school rivalry rage. Thompson is reportedly a former student of Grassy Knoll’s long-time rival, Pickle Creek High School. “He never got over their mascot being a duck,” said his mother. “He said it made him feel ‘less than.’ I thought he was joking. I guess not.”
The incident occurred just moments before the start of the third quarter. When the cheerleading squad brought Sir Baa-a-lot onto the field to rile up the crowd, fans were stunned to see a very smooth, very confused, and somewhat chilly goat strutting across the turf.
