A routine lunch run turned into a spicy disaster for local man Earl Pickens, 37, after he was allegedly kicked squarely in the Ass by an employee at Cluck Daddy’s Famous Chicken Shack. Witnesses say Earl had just finished ordering a “Mega Zesty Bucket” with extra slaw when a verbal exchange with a cashier named […]
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Man Arrested for Dressing as Santa, Peeking in Windows
Shitstain, OH — What started as a quiet Tuesday evening in this small Ohio town turned bizarre after multiple residents reported a man dressed as Santa Claus peeking into windows and aggressively shaking his dick at unsuspecting families. Authorities confirmed the man in question is David Jenkins, 41, a local with a long history of […]
Read MorePool Hall Terrorized by “Fast Eddie” — Fugitive Hustler Smells Like Cat Pee and Swings a Mean Cue Stick
Browneye, KY — A quiet Tuesday night at The 8-Ball Emporium turned into chaos when a notorious pool hustler known only as “Fast Eddie” stormed into the local billiards hall, reeking of cat urine and brandishing a pool cue like it owed him money. The man, described as “thin, twitchy, and aggressively confident for someone […]
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